Bangkok Chiang Mai Oct/Nov 2006.We arrived at Midnight in Bangkok's New and very impressive Suvarnabhumi airport. Avoided the usual airport hotel and taxi touts and took a metered taxi to Khao San road where we checked into a triple room at the Pasara guest house 
for a whopping 450 Bhat! We decided to check out the Khao San night life and ended up drinking all night with a gay guy who's lover had just died and a couple of beauty salon workers. (Only in Bangkok eh?) Can't remember who's idea it was to start the morning with vodka shots but that set the tone for the rest of the vacation. I spent the morning booking train tickets for Chiang Mai. A 13 hour overnight train ride for a wallet busting 650 Baht. Mike and Mike, two guys I work with spent the day visiting the Kings palace and taking pictures.The train left at 8pm and nothing much happened as we were recovering from the previous nights drink up. We arrived at 
Chiang Mai in the morning and it felt a bit cooler the Bangkok and a lot more chilled out. We had already booked our accommodation yet the taxi driver at the train station insisted on showing us testimonials for his "sisters" hotel in all the languages known to man. Checked into the Sumit hotel then it was time to get my hit. Yes my drug of choice? Roast beef and 3 veg ahhh thats the good stuff.The UN Irish pub became our headquarters during the trip. All but one of the staff were as grumpy as hell but the food was great so I didn't mind. We spent the day souvenir shopping and booking our trek into the jungle. Although I was reluctant at first we booked a 4 day private jungle trek all inclusive for $150 each, which was a bit steep but its miles better than a group. We then spent the evening at the Riverside bar and restaurant which has amazing live music. Mike and Mike were infatuated with
the lead singer of the local band but didn't see what they saw in her??. I was more interested in storming the stage during Wonderwall. We left after the band stopped playing as we had to visit the Karen long neck tribe early the next morning. The following day we got back from the Karen long neck tribe at about 8pm, Showered then hit the Riverside again. The band were in fine form playing hits from the Verve and after a few drinks we decided to get a Thai massage in preparation for our jungle trek. The first place the tuk tuk driver tuk(lol) us to resembled the red light district in Amsterdam and upon seeing the fine women on display behind the glass window we all shouted Woah to the driver. Two of the woahs were of disapproval and one of them sounded like Austin powers. Ill leave you to guess which came from who. the legitimate parlour we ended up was completely different. I had a female Gollum practice WWF moves on me for an hour. I heard bones crack in places where I didn't know bones exist.
The jungle expedition day 1. We woke up early on day 1 of our trek to buy some supplies. I packed light, 2 T.shirts, 3 pairs of boxers, 2 pairs of socks, a few chocolate bars and some mozzie repellant. We were advised to bring some jumpers as it can get quit cold at night but I opted to bring my camera and PSP instead. After a about 2 hours of driving the roads started to get less congested and more bumpy until the roads turned into mere dirt tracks. Our first day was supposed to be a warm up yet we hiked some 4 hours through Chiang Mai's beautiful countryside. Our first guide Chai and Canadian mike set a lightning pace and we arrived at halfway point about an
hour ahead of schedule. We stopped for about an hour to swim next to a waterfall. Chai was busy catching tadpoles which would later be used to make chillipaste. Mike and Mike both being camera enthusiasts took pictures of the surrounding flora and fauna and I tried many times to climb a tree half submerged in the middle of the river. We arrived at our first Village at about 4.30 PM and the villagers all greeted us with open arms. After dinner we played card games with the kids and I showed them some pictures on my PSP. The kids were awe struck by pictures of London, Tokyo and my family etc though this was not their only window into the western world. Chai's hut was the only hut in the village with a TV and It seemed the whole 
village would congregate in his "living room" and stare at the box until the solar charged batteries which powered it ran out of juice. I was more fascinated at watching the villagers watch TV than watching Thai TV itself, which by Asian standards is kinda lame. Yet the cheesy acting and slapstick humour in the evening soap sent this audience into raptures. After a night cape of local rice wine we retired for the night. It was rather cold and my bed was as hard as a rock yet I slept quite well. We woke up the next morning to the sound of a blasted cockerel at around 3am.
Day 3 was the toughest day in our schedule. A 5hr hike up the highest peak. The hike reminded me of MT Fuji I felt like giving up on various occasions but then the Rocky theme tune kicked in and spurred me on. Mr Tong didn't help as his "only 10 mins more" always ended up being at least an hour. We reached the highest peak at around 1pm and my was the view breathtaking, NOT. I guess I was too tired to appreciate it. The way down was a lot easier as we hired the help of two elephants. Elephants are the only way to travel through the jungle. Yeah they may attract more mosquitos than a turd in Africa attracts flies but they plow 
through the dense jungle like a steam train leaving crushed branches in its wake. We arrived at a village for lunch and lunch I did a bit of exploring. I stumbled across some kids making bamboo floats for the upcoming Loy Krathong festival and they didn't mind me taking pictures of them. Mr Tong managed to get a ride for us to the base of the cave where we were to spend the night and we gladly accepted as it would save us a 2 hour hike. on the way to the jeep I stepped on a puppy and crushed its leg. I didn't see it as I was talking to mike at the time all I could hear were yelps of pain as the poor animal tried to hobble to safety. I got on the truck quickly and I wanted to get out of there before the villagers discover what the evil foreigner had
done to their poor defenseless puppy. Mike and Mike tried to make me feel guilty and I was a bit but I swear it was a accident. We were supposed to spend the 3rd night in a cave in the middle of the jungle but as Mike almost died trying to climb the tree at the caves entrance we decided to stay at the village of the porter who was cooking our dinner at the caves base. The village was well off the tourist trail and we were the first foreigners to stay in the village so we felt kind of special. The village didn't have any bottled water so we had to drink rice wine instead boiled river water instead! We spend the night feasting on chicken curry 
(Mike ate the skull claws and entrails),playing drinking games and sharing tales with the locals, It was one of the best nights of the trip. I woke up early next morning to catch the sunset in the village and reflect on the journey we had just completed.
for a whopping 450 Bhat! We decided to check out the Khao San night life and ended up drinking all night with a gay guy who's lover had just died and a couple of beauty salon workers. (Only in Bangkok eh?) Can't remember who's idea it was to start the morning with vodka shots but that set the tone for the rest of the vacation. I spent the morning booking train tickets for Chiang Mai. A 13 hour overnight train ride for a wallet busting 650 Baht. Mike and Mike, two guys I work with spent the day visiting the Kings palace and taking pictures.The train left at 8pm and nothing much happened as we were recovering from the previous nights drink up. We arrived at 
Chiang Mai in the morning and it felt a bit cooler the Bangkok and a lot more chilled out. We had already booked our accommodation yet the taxi driver at the train station insisted on showing us testimonials for his "sisters" hotel in all the languages known to man. Checked into the Sumit hotel then it was time to get my hit. Yes my drug of choice? Roast beef and 3 veg ahhh thats the good stuff.The UN Irish pub became our headquarters during the trip. All but one of the staff were as grumpy as hell but the food was great so I didn't mind. We spent the day souvenir shopping and booking our trek into the jungle. Although I was reluctant at first we booked a 4 day private jungle trek all inclusive for $150 each, which was a bit steep but its miles better than a group. We then spent the evening at the Riverside bar and restaurant which has amazing live music. Mike and Mike were infatuated with
the lead singer of the local band but didn't see what they saw in her??. I was more interested in storming the stage during Wonderwall. We left after the band stopped playing as we had to visit the Karen long neck tribe early the next morning. The following day we got back from the Karen long neck tribe at about 8pm, Showered then hit the Riverside again. The band were in fine form playing hits from the Verve and after a few drinks we decided to get a Thai massage in preparation for our jungle trek. The first place the tuk tuk driver tuk(lol) us to resembled the red light district in Amsterdam and upon seeing the fine women on display behind the glass window we all shouted Woah to the driver. Two of the woahs were of disapproval and one of them sounded like Austin powers. Ill leave you to guess which came from who. the legitimate parlour we ended up was completely different. I had a female Gollum practice WWF moves on me for an hour. I heard bones crack in places where I didn't know bones exist.
The jungle expedition day 1. We woke up early on day 1 of our trek to buy some supplies. I packed light, 2 T.shirts, 3 pairs of boxers, 2 pairs of socks, a few chocolate bars and some mozzie repellant. We were advised to bring some jumpers as it can get quit cold at night but I opted to bring my camera and PSP instead. After a about 2 hours of driving the roads started to get less congested and more bumpy until the roads turned into mere dirt tracks. Our first day was supposed to be a warm up yet we hiked some 4 hours through Chiang Mai's beautiful countryside. Our first guide Chai and Canadian mike set a lightning pace and we arrived at halfway point about an
hour ahead of schedule. We stopped for about an hour to swim next to a waterfall. Chai was busy catching tadpoles which would later be used to make chillipaste. Mike and Mike both being camera enthusiasts took pictures of the surrounding flora and fauna and I tried many times to climb a tree half submerged in the middle of the river. We arrived at our first Village at about 4.30 PM and the villagers all greeted us with open arms. After dinner we played card games with the kids and I showed them some pictures on my PSP. The kids were awe struck by pictures of London, Tokyo and my family etc though this was not their only window into the western world. Chai's hut was the only hut in the village with a TV and It seemed the whole 
village would congregate in his "living room" and stare at the box until the solar charged batteries which powered it ran out of juice. I was more fascinated at watching the villagers watch TV than watching Thai TV itself, which by Asian standards is kinda lame. Yet the cheesy acting and slapstick humour in the evening soap sent this audience into raptures. After a night cape of local rice wine we retired for the night. It was rather cold and my bed was as hard as a rock yet I slept quite well. We woke up the next morning to the sound of a blasted cockerel at around 3am. Day 2
Our guide for day 2 was the likeable Mr Tong AKA the jungle man. Our goal for day 2 was to cut
through the rice fields of Chiang Mai and spent the night at a river house. The hike was about six hours and on the way Mike acquired a massive bag of local "herbs" from a farmer for about 200 Baht. (I wonder how much that would fetch in Hackney?) I also got the chance to fire a loaded rifle for the first 
time in my life. The nutty local farmers still use ancient flint lock rifles that were probably the same ones used in the American civil war complete with a loading pipe gun powder and ball bearings as bullets. Canadian Mike would later tell me they were prone to misfiring could break your shoulder if not held properly. We reached the river house at sunset and after dinner Mr Tong fashioned a bong out of an old plastic bottle and a bamboo twig and four of us smoked half a bag of Thai stick. Now the jungle is probably the last place you want to get absolutely stoned as its pretty wild to begin with. Through the
course of the night my mosquito net morphed into a giant and spider web when I stepped outside the hut I found myself surrounded by vicious wolves. Mr Tong was convinced he was Rambo and started swing his machete around which freaked out Mike who feared for his life. Nothing like an ice cold bath by a waterfall at 7am to clear your head after a hangover. I left 200 Bahts in the hut for the owners as we had trashed the place.
through the rice fields of Chiang Mai and spent the night at a river house. The hike was about six hours and on the way Mike acquired a massive bag of local "herbs" from a farmer for about 200 Baht. (I wonder how much that would fetch in Hackney?) I also got the chance to fire a loaded rifle for the first 
time in my life. The nutty local farmers still use ancient flint lock rifles that were probably the same ones used in the American civil war complete with a loading pipe gun powder and ball bearings as bullets. Canadian Mike would later tell me they were prone to misfiring could break your shoulder if not held properly. We reached the river house at sunset and after dinner Mr Tong fashioned a bong out of an old plastic bottle and a bamboo twig and four of us smoked half a bag of Thai stick. Now the jungle is probably the last place you want to get absolutely stoned as its pretty wild to begin with. Through the
course of the night my mosquito net morphed into a giant and spider web when I stepped outside the hut I found myself surrounded by vicious wolves. Mr Tong was convinced he was Rambo and started swing his machete around which freaked out Mike who feared for his life. Nothing like an ice cold bath by a waterfall at 7am to clear your head after a hangover. I left 200 Bahts in the hut for the owners as we had trashed the place.
Day 3 was the toughest day in our schedule. A 5hr hike up the highest peak. The hike reminded me of MT Fuji I felt like giving up on various occasions but then the Rocky theme tune kicked in and spurred me on. Mr Tong didn't help as his "only 10 mins more" always ended up being at least an hour. We reached the highest peak at around 1pm and my was the view breathtaking, NOT. I guess I was too tired to appreciate it. The way down was a lot easier as we hired the help of two elephants. Elephants are the only way to travel through the jungle. Yeah they may attract more mosquitos than a turd in Africa attracts flies but they plow 
through the dense jungle like a steam train leaving crushed branches in its wake. We arrived at a village for lunch and lunch I did a bit of exploring. I stumbled across some kids making bamboo floats for the upcoming Loy Krathong festival and they didn't mind me taking pictures of them. Mr Tong managed to get a ride for us to the base of the cave where we were to spend the night and we gladly accepted as it would save us a 2 hour hike. on the way to the jeep I stepped on a puppy and crushed its leg. I didn't see it as I was talking to mike at the time all I could hear were yelps of pain as the poor animal tried to hobble to safety. I got on the truck quickly and I wanted to get out of there before the villagers discover what the evil foreigner had
done to their poor defenseless puppy. Mike and Mike tried to make me feel guilty and I was a bit but I swear it was a accident. We were supposed to spend the 3rd night in a cave in the middle of the jungle but as Mike almost died trying to climb the tree at the caves entrance we decided to stay at the village of the porter who was cooking our dinner at the caves base. The village was well off the tourist trail and we were the first foreigners to stay in the village so we felt kind of special. The village didn't have any bottled water so we had to drink rice wine instead boiled river water instead! We spend the night feasting on chicken curry 
(Mike ate the skull claws and entrails),playing drinking games and sharing tales with the locals, It was one of the best nights of the trip. I woke up early next morning to catch the sunset in the village and reflect on the journey we had just completed.Day 4: The road back to Chiang mai city was a bit strange as we had not seen or been in contact with any other foreigners or city folk for 3 1/2 days so it was nice to see street lights and billboards. It seemed like two different worlds separated only by a 3 hour jeep ride. Back at the Sumit hotel we showered and put on our glad rags for the highlight of the Loy Krathong (LK) 
festival. We invited Mr Tong and our cute travel agent Tu to joins us. Tu brought her friend and we bought LK floats on our way to the river. LK in Chiang Mai is nuts people all over set off fireworks drink and party! Ever since I saw Leo DiCaprio and Francois launch the floating lanterns in "The Beach" I've always wanted to do it myself. people launch them everywhere on LK night and float upwards blending in with the stars they fill the sky. About midnight we hit the Riverside yet again for what was to be our final visit. The next morning I tried to book train tickets back to Bangkok but they were sold out so we were stuck in Chiang Mai for 2 more days.
We spent this time chilling out and checking out temples Mike and Mike took a Thai cooking class and I visited Gollum again for a rematch. On the train ride back to Bangkok the food car turned into a disco complete with glitter ball and strobe lights! The music was Dutch and so were most of the people in the food car but that didnt matter. I grabbed the other Mike and we partied well into the night to the tune of Dutch folk music. We arrived in 
Bangkok 7 am and while Mike and Mike went to look for a hotel in Khao San road I went to meet my Japanese friends Yagi and Yuko. Now, I was supposed to meet them 2 days earlier but we were stuck in Chiang Mai and I feared for their safety. Two defenseless Japanese tourists left to fend for themselves for 3 days in Bangkok I wondered if the vultures had left anything. Yagi and Yuko didnt do much just shopping and shopping. They did visit Pattaya beah but the taxi driver charged them 3500 Baht for a return ride and he had the nerve to charge them another 2000 Baht for gas! it only cost 1200 one way or 100 by bus. Like I always say theres the local price, the tourist price, then theres the Japanese price! On our final day in Thailand we visited the
Kings palace and did some shopping in Khao San road. I bought a fake ISIC card and I contemplated buying a fake press pass. We spent the final evening in Gullivers pub and we had another bender. We were so mashed that we almost missed our flight and Mike actually didnt remember getting to the airport he had passed out in the taxi. Thailand is a sweet spot for me and I'd love to live there. The people are amazing and there is absolutely no beef whatsoever, long may it remain that way. Next stop India and Pakistan Jan 2007.
festival. We invited Mr Tong and our cute travel agent Tu to joins us. Tu brought her friend and we bought LK floats on our way to the river. LK in Chiang Mai is nuts people all over set off fireworks drink and party! Ever since I saw Leo DiCaprio and Francois launch the floating lanterns in "The Beach" I've always wanted to do it myself. people launch them everywhere on LK night and float upwards blending in with the stars they fill the sky. About midnight we hit the Riverside yet again for what was to be our final visit. The next morning I tried to book train tickets back to Bangkok but they were sold out so we were stuck in Chiang Mai for 2 more days.
We spent this time chilling out and checking out temples Mike and Mike took a Thai cooking class and I visited Gollum again for a rematch. On the train ride back to Bangkok the food car turned into a disco complete with glitter ball and strobe lights! The music was Dutch and so were most of the people in the food car but that didnt matter. I grabbed the other Mike and we partied well into the night to the tune of Dutch folk music. We arrived in 
Bangkok 7 am and while Mike and Mike went to look for a hotel in Khao San road I went to meet my Japanese friends Yagi and Yuko. Now, I was supposed to meet them 2 days earlier but we were stuck in Chiang Mai and I feared for their safety. Two defenseless Japanese tourists left to fend for themselves for 3 days in Bangkok I wondered if the vultures had left anything. Yagi and Yuko didnt do much just shopping and shopping. They did visit Pattaya beah but the taxi driver charged them 3500 Baht for a return ride and he had the nerve to charge them another 2000 Baht for gas! it only cost 1200 one way or 100 by bus. Like I always say theres the local price, the tourist price, then theres the Japanese price! On our final day in Thailand we visited the
Kings palace and did some shopping in Khao San road. I bought a fake ISIC card and I contemplated buying a fake press pass. We spent the final evening in Gullivers pub and we had another bender. We were so mashed that we almost missed our flight and Mike actually didnt remember getting to the airport he had passed out in the taxi. Thailand is a sweet spot for me and I'd love to live there. The people are amazing and there is absolutely no beef whatsoever, long may it remain that way. Next stop India and Pakistan Jan 2007.
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